Mental iPods, My love of Gadgets, Cock Rings! Ebay comes up trumps.

"... its a new day, a new life, and I'm feeeeeeellllin' gooooooooood! da dum, da dum, da diddly dum "

Bloody Hell!! Caught singing again, knock next time, will ya!!!

Time for some fun, after all my time is now my own, which is why Sarah says we now have to have a diary so we she can put all the things I need to do in it.

Back to music - Funny how the song in my head often tells me how I feel before it reaches conscious thought. In my last post I ended up sitting on the beach listening to my real iPod but it could have just as well been my mental one which is much better, it doesn't annoy other travelers, never runs out of battery and it can download any tune I hear for free, true sometimes it only holds the instrumental "hum along version" but that's mostly fine. The best bit is it has its own Genius software generating a My Emotions playlist. Stop looking at me like that, I know I'm not alone here. Am I? Thought it came with the software bundle for everyone? Oh... maybe you just haven't been listening to the words playing. Try switching it on, (Go to the settings bar in your head and press shift alt control escape **) it it can be very illuminating. You don't have a settings bar? Bloody hell have you got a Chromebook? Sorry, but you are fucked.

My music tastes are very random, I was going to type eklect, eccleck eclectique but i have no idea how to spell it and spell checker doesn't have a clue what I was aiming at so, no help there then. So as I was saying, I have a random taste in music. Well, that's not quite true, everything I like is good, the rest is rubbish.

I have friends who still have all their CDs in racks, categorized by genre, artist, album, release date, producer, they can find and access any track in a minim. Its very impressive to watch. I am allowed no where near their music collection as my system was different (there's a shock eh?) I had a box, (or i did before iTunes) several boxes in fact. CDs were arranged within each box based on how often I played them, those that I played least were on the bottom, those I played most on the top. This top of the box subsection was further catagorised for rapid access by the fact the stuff I played very regularly were not in cases. I was going to patent my system and see if I could get K-Tel to market it for me. Remember K-Tel? They had such products as the Brush-O-Matic, the Easy Groom \Styling Comb (Billy Connelly did a whole routine on this product) and the Record Vac. Of course they don't do stuff like that any more. We wouldn't buy such rubbish we have become far to marketing savvy.

Just a mo, my hard skin angle grinder has just fallen off the steam cleaner knocking over the Tight Buns Training system.


My love of Gadgets
I do love a gadget, don't you? I was looking at a remote the other day that actually allows me to flush the loo from the garden shed, and because its its wifi enabled has blue tooth, quad band and 4G compatible anywhere else in the world. It can directly link into the sewerage system if you buy the add on dongle, the iVersion has a built in dongle but that's going a bit far. It is a bit pricey but with all those features a snip at £200, plus the £50 for the dongle (obviously). Hmmm wonder if I can get both for £230 on Ebay, must look later. Sarah will be dead chuffed when she gets back from having her hair done. Hey!!  I could give it to her for her Birthday on the 18th as a surprise. Brilliant!!! Job Done!! She will be so pleased, I can see the look on her face now as she unwraps it. So much better than the cordless singing  commode, the Swing-While-You're-Shitting 2000, as awesome as that was, I bought her for Christmas. She wasn't so convinced and wondered why the songs were in Mandarin, I explained at the time that not only was this item functional and entertaining it was educational as well as she could with out any effort (allowing for any constipation obviously) learn a new language. It was also the cordless as the previous year she had said if I bought her anything with an electric plug on it again for Christmas she was going to stick it where there was no mains power available. I had specifically taken note and I think she meant the shed where some of my other presents to her now live. I think they are all still in their boxes because she knows how valuable they will become in years to come, she's bright Sarah and sometimes watches the Antiques Road Show, they always tell you to keep the boxes. That must be it.

Where was I, oh yes, they'd never sell me any such rubbish now-a-days, far too savvy. I've grown up a lot since those days. Anyway, alas, it wasn't to be, I never got round to patenting my EZ-CD and now Apple have pinched it and added a "most frequently played" play list. As Greg Wallace might say I was "...gutted!" when i realized I'm missed my big chance to make my million. Typical.... if only.... The moral of this story is if you have a good idea, go for it.

Cock Rings

If you are waiting for this bit I'm afraid you are out of luck. (though funny it should follow My love of gadgets in the title). Its a shameless marketing ploy used to increase my circulation and... the words are inherently funny. Also following a previous blog one of my daughters said (I hope in jest) if i used the words cock rings again in a blog I was dead to her. One of the joys of having daughters is just how shock-able and fun they can be . (Love you both xxx) Sometimes it must be tough having me as a dad, sorry, (grin).

P.S. - Ebay comes up trumps again!!! Thanks Ebay!!!

 I found one!!! The remote!!! A real genuine non-counterfeit Apple Galaxy Xperia 4G  BogBastic Flush XR7034 and its the limited edition version in Barbie Pink (I've picked up a thing or two from watching the antiques road show too, mine  hers is limited edition number 4738965, practical AND an heirloom for the kids)  even managed to get the dongle bundled in for £80. OK its £30 more than I was going to spend but it is a present and it comes gift wrapped all the way from Manchester, according to the address that's just out side Taipei. It should be here for 4 months (give or take) so I'll just giver her the order form on her birthday so she can look forward to it. No, i can't wait I'll give it to her when she is back from the hairdressers, I hope she doesn't read this blog before she gets here. I WANT IT TO BE A BIG SURPRISE!!!!

THANKS EBAY!!! WE'VE DONE IT AGAIN!!! - gullibleguyUK (*46765)