Nothing says Merry Christmas like a Concrete Floor

A Proud Dad - Chris with Anna & Greeshma

So that was Christmas 2013...

Back in the UK you may still be eating cold turkey sandwiches and picking through the remains of yesterday's gut busting food fest but here in India it over. In fact it was over by Christmas day night, the lights turned off and normal service resumed but all in all it was a good one.

Christmas a C&J's

We spent the day with Chris, a friend from the restaurant and his wife Jhothy and children, Greeshma and Anna, oh and Rocky the dog. Of course we had the perennial Christmas problem, "What do you buy for Christmas for folk who have very little?" and we wanted to say thank you for all the help they had given us. Don't get me wrong, by Indian standards Chris and his family are quite well off, they have a two bedroom house with an indoor bathroom, a TV and their own well. The house is about the same size as a double garage, in the lounge they have a large dining table, four plastic garden chairs to sit on, in the kitchen a fridge and a two ring LPG burner to cook on (where Jhothy prepares some of the best Indian food I have ever tasted). The two bedrooms each have a small wooden framed double bed and a couple of lockable office filing cupboards for wardrobes. The kids, Greeshma and Anna 15 and 13 respectively sleep in one room and Chris and Jhothy the other  Like I said, Chris and his family are relatively well off, they eat regularly and thanks to Jhothy good tasty food.

So what to buy them for Christmas? A turkey? Impractical and it would go off before it was finished and there is no oven to cook it in anyway. Booze? Neither drink much. Chocolates? Possible but not exactly imaginative or useful. M&S jumpers? Not exactly ideal for the 30+ C heat and Sarah had already decided to take the girls shopping last weekend  for Xmas dresses (and xmas cake) so we were still left with the "what do we buy C&J?" problem.

In the end we decided something for the house but what? Jhothy works hard to keep things as clean and nice as possible but the floor is a mixture of rough cast concrete and compacted earth and in the heat and dust its a losing battle.. Chris had intended to get it skimmed but the money ran out and he hoped to get it done with this season's tips from the restaurant. So... we decided to "say it in concrete".

Christmas day at Chris's was special, Jhothy beaming  in her newly concreted kitchen (Chris had managed to get the whole house floor re-skimmed with the money we gave them and get new worktops in the kitchen and some tiling done too.

Jhothy - Queen of her domain - Xmas Lunch on the go...

Lunch was delicious, Goat Biriyani, Goat Curry, Chicken, Rice, Banana, Lentil Sambal, Carrot and Coconut Chutney, home made lime pickle & popodums.. We ate with the girls and Chris, Jhothy and her brother Aradish who had joined us insisted on eating in the kitchen as there were only four chairs.

Sarah, Anns and Greeshma - Setting the table

We stayed until 3 p.m. then totally stuffed made our excuses and left them to enjoy the rest of the day together, obviously we weren't allowed to leave without a helping of rice and curry to "eat later when you feel peckish".

We had all had a wonderful time and now it was time for a sleep....

Christmas Cake

Rocky The Dog Checks Out the Floor

Merry Christmas

Kevin & Sarah

A Saturday Afternoon RIOT at the end of the road!!!

RIOT!!!

Last Saturday was an "interesting" day. We had a about 30 police and a couple of hundred protesters camped out at the bottom of the drive, 150 meters from our apartment. There was lots of shouting, flag waving and general commotion. The mosque loudspeaker system called all from the neighbourhood to the fray. The police set up roadblocks and I was effectively trapped in the flat. I say "I" because Sarah was out having a massage.

So what caused this civil unrest? Why the call to arms? Was it the elections in Delhi? Food price riots? A rally against corruption? No, it was because the local Islamic school had put a collection box on the side of the road with a few flags around it to draw the attention of potential donors. True, it was near the entrance to the Hindu temple but not on temple grounds, so why the big kerfuffle?

Over the last week or so the security guards who are employed by the big 5* hotel which owns much of the land around Kovalam beach have been involved in a clean up campaign, all non-authorized structures e.g fences, advertising signs etc. have been ordered to be taken down by the security team, if there is any objection the police are called to enforce the change. The objective being to keep the bay as free from the worst excesses of lighthouse beach as possible and "beautify" the area. To be fair there has been a lot of money and effort spent in clearing the parkland surrounding the bay of scrub and generally tidy up. (Ironically this does not extend to the rubbish brought in by the coachloads of day trippers which is thrown about all over the place, but that's another issue). The initiative even received official backing earlier in the week and was reported in The Hindu. So full of good intentions the guards have been going about their business but making few friends in the process. Kovalam Beach is a major tourist destination for day-trippers, those wanting to see the sea, swim (or near drown) and pilgrims alike and it has the only coach park within walking distance of Hawa and Lighthouse beaches i.e. a magnet for traders, those selling snacks, ice cream and other tourist goods. Consequently there will always we a tension between those who are trying to preserve its unique beauty and those wanting to use it, set up shop and make a living.

The a fore mentioned donation box was deemed to be on hotel land and so the security guards tried to remove it. Needless to say this was a "controversial move" and the community reacted strongly.

To prevent the box's removal a crowd gathered, surrounded it and were very vocal in their anger. Next, to ensure the box wasn't moved a group of youngsters "borrowed" a pile of bricks from a hotel construction site and went about encasing the box in brick and concrete. Though this had the effect of preventing the removal it had one significant draw back, the box was no longer accessable for donations and so another box was placed on top of the now enclosed original.

All in all things got rather heated, police riot vans were deployied, there was a lot of chanting, angry arm and flag waving and general loud protesting. The police then blocked the road and no one was allowed out or in. It really looked as though it might get nasty until 3:40 when the mosque put out its cal to prayer at which point the protesters all headed off to pray, obviously realizing they would lose the moral high ground if they didn't, and the police.... went to the tea shop for a cuppa.

Half Time.

Obviously there had been a half time team talk as when prayers were over the protesters formed an orderly if rather noisy procession to the 5* hotel to complain. 30 mins later they were all back again, this time smiling and laughing as they had obtained a stay of execution.

Three days later the box now stands where it was before, still encased in brick and with an additional box on top. Since Saturday we have had a police police coach parked in the coach park and a large police presence, though i secretly think they are now just enjoying being beside the sea as there is much tea drinking, stroling along the beach and ice cream eating going on.

So... that was our riot, India's answer to a letter to the parish council, noisier, more dramatic but much faster, it also involved the whole community and filled a Saturday afternoon.

Usual Coffee Time Ramblings at the end of the week...

Have a fun day...

K&S

Getting in the Xmas Swing, Hedging Religious Bets, Cooking for Winter Weather

Good morning all and happy POETS day. On Facebook we keep seeing references to some sort of quasi religious festival, I think its called Amazon day from the number of postings and seems to involve large numbers of parcels and gifts being bought. From what I can see it may also have something to do with with the German traders setting up stalls in the middle of shopping precincts and the selling and drinking of warm wine. To enter into the spirit of the thing Sarah had a young coconut from a street trader, the top sliced off and topped up with Bacardi, not quite the same but the thought was there.

The traders are beginning to get in the Christmas swing, a few decorations have appeared and the "specials boards" outside a couple of the restaurants have begun to advertise christmassy fayre but in typical Indian style haven't quite got the hang of things. My favourite so far is the restaurant that now advertises

Live Lobster
Live Duck
Live Turkey

I think they are under the impression that "Live" means fresh, at least I hope so... I'm not sure I want to go to a pen out the back and pick out which duck i want dispatched for dinner but anything is possible.

Also, in one of our favourite restaurants a crib has appeared, think Blue Peter Nativity Scene but done in the style of Gangsta Bling, its about 8 feet high, five feet wide with more lights than Oxford and Regent Street put together.

I still find it strange coming from a basically secular society to see religions celebrated in this way, neon and LED lights are deployed at every opportunity, including funerals. Most houses have a small shrine, and where in the UK some might stop at a cross hung on a wall and maybe a candle here or there, in India if its worth worshipping, its worth doing big, photos of dead relatives, 3d depictions of the crucifixion, holy water by the bucket, flashing fairy lights, in fact anything goes and its not limited to the house. Tuk-tuks are adorned with religious icons, often from different religions Ganesh sits on the dashboard alongside the baby Jesus and a dead relatives hair dangles from the wing mirror in a mix and match approach to securing gods blessing. All a bit over the top for western sensibilities... until you see the road fatality figures, they were published for Kerala in the Hindu yesterday, and it was "good news" from January to the end of November the number of road fatalities has fallen from 3,867 to 3,748 and the number of reported accidents from 32,980 to 32,109. In 2012 - 4,286 people were killed in 36,109 accidents. With those figures, if I was a Tuk-tuk driver I think I'd hedge my bets and take all the help I could get regardless of which religion it came from.

It rained last night for the first time this week, this morning the weather is overcast and still, the earth has that freshly washed smell and its cool, i.e. low 80's F. Believe it or not it actually feels autumnal, strange how perceptions adapt so quickly. The paper's cookery section talks of warming stews for the winter months though the day temperature seldom falls below 90 F. Unfortunately the fixation with cooking programmes and celebrity chiefs has also reached India, Gordon and Jamie are big here though I've not seen any evidence of an Indian version of the Great British Bake Off so far... "Tonight Paul and Mary will require you to knock out a dozen chipattis, a Peshwari Naan and a Perrota and as your signature bake you are required to make a ginger bread Taj Mahal". No doubt it will come but i'd like to see even Paul and Mary cope with only having a two ring burner and a griddle pan.

So... now its time to head out for the day as my festive breakfast awaits at the local tea shop, perrota, onion masala and an egg.

Have a great weekend, enjoy the run up to Christmas and take it easy.

K&S
13/12/13

3 Weeks to Xmas, Newspapers, Elephants and Law and Order

Three Weeks to Christmas

Another week has flown by and apparently we are three weeks from Christmas, here in Kerala the Christmas advertising industry has cranked itself up into a frenzy i.e, about the same as it would be at home in the UK in July. As yet there are no Xmas decorations, no 10 ft blow up Santas on roofs, no fiberglass reindeer prancing across the lawns and no supermarket adverts on TV or in the papers. You might think its hardly surprising since this isn't a christian country but according to the last published census 1 in 5 here in Kerala are christian. I think they are still under the impression that Xmas is a religious holy day rather than a booze and food filed shopping spree. How misinformed are they!!!

The "News"

In the UK i hardly ever get or make time to read the morning papers and settle for the TV news, here I eagerly await and read the regional paper every morning. There are two main English language papers the Times of India and the Hindu, we take the Hindu, better coverage of the cricket and we love the Dickensian language. It meets all our needs, its a broadsheet, is 8 -10 pages long and covers local, regional, national and international news and has no coverage of X Factor, what the soap stars are doing or who is bonking who. Its a NEWSPAPER. That said it has some articles which are very strange to western eyes, earlier this week we were treated to the changed regulations regarding the use of elephants in parades. Here are a few just in case you ever need to arrange an elephant ceremony. The elephant must not have killed anyone or gone on a rampage for 15 days if it has then the Forestry Commission must (and I quote) "give the nod" before you can use it in a parade. Elephants must not be left standing on hot tarmac, if transporting an elephant to a ceremony by truck the truck must be no less than 12 ft long, the elephant's Mahout must be properly fed, rested and not be intoxicated. 13 people have been killed by elephants this year in India and three times as many seriously injured which is about par for the course. If you are thinking of staging an event Elephant hire for the day ranges from £150 to £2500 per day depending on the fame of the elephant. Much better value than most so called celebrities or government ministers.

Also in the Hindu this week another forestry worker has been killed by a tiger near Mysore (three in a fortnight) the authorities have now dispatched a team to hunt the animal down so it can be relocated to a tiger sanctuary, as it has now been labeled a man eater. Unlike in the UK animals don't get shot for being animals, its part of life. The Hindu not only published the name of the officer leading the hunt but the names of the elephants they would be using to track and capture the animal.

Today's Elephant related story - never chase an elephant on a motorbike unless you can swim http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/tp-karnataka/farmer-drowns-while-chasing-elephant-herd/article5416552.ece

In local news the town drug dealer has been arrested (again) in the run up to high tourist season. lets get this into proportion, there was no big undercover sting operation, The Wire it definitely wasn't. The chap concerned is in his early sixties, and sells hash and marijuana to locals and tourists, in the eight years we have been coming here he has always stood in the same spot in the entrance to an ally which is 25 feet from the police station on the beach and as you pass him he mumbles "want to smoke?"  Everyone knows who he is and what he is selling but every year about this time he is arrested, sentenced to some time in jail and is back out in time for the post Xmas season.

The Law, Rules and Regulations

As I'd mentioned the drugs bust i thought i'd do a bit about rules, regulations and how they are interpreted and applied here. India loves rules and regulations, there are more rules here than anyone can comprehend or apply. The consequence is no one pays them the slightest bit of notice. This is after all the land of passive resistance, if a rule gets in the way its either ignored or an amount of money changes hands, heads are wobbled and life goes on.

I'll give you an example of how things work to get you in the swing, alcohol and licencing.

Alcohol
Alcohol is strictly licensed here is Kerala, alcoholism is a real problem and like many areas of India the public health agenda is very much to the fore in driving regulation. There are very few places in Kovalam where you can legally buy a drink (limited to a few big hotels) and the very few off licences are state run. If you go to the state beer shop you are officially limited to 2 bottles of beer per person. Once a month there are also state wide "dry days" when no alcohol  can be bought. That's the law, in theory. In practice all restaurants sell all spirits, beer and wine any day of the week at anytime of the day. The one concession is every year one restaurant owner gets to go to jail for a month or so and if the police can find it his stocks of booze they are smashed. (there have been occasions when we have had to change our order as the staff couldn't remember where they had buried the vodka) Until this has happened there is an air of expectancy all along lighthouse beach as to whose turn it will be this year. A couple of weeks ago the police mounted a "raid" on all the Lighthouse beach restaurants and we were privileged to watch the proceedings. Here's how it went, 5 or 6 police officers made a great show of meeting at the police station on the beach, they then walked to the far end and began looking for licensing law breakers. It was a total farce, a well choreographed game of hide and seek where everyone knew their part. As they set off along the front mobile phones rang in turn the length of the beach, bottles and beer mugs were whipped from the tables in a Mexican wave of compliance which progressed down the seafront just ahead of the police party, a wave which just as quickly closed up behind them as they moved on to the next restaurant. No one was arrested, the police had shown they were enforcing the law and we got to witness a great game while drinking our gin and tonics.

Have a nice time shopping

K&S