Monday 10 November 2014

The “big shop,” A washing machine, three pyramid teabags and a roll of dental floss


The last week has been one of playing house, obtaining all the bits and bobs we need to live for the next 5 months.  After all we can’t eat out every night, which would sort of defeat the point of living out here.

Obviously there are things we have bought with us, essentials which can’t be bought here in India e.g. good coffee, Gillette Fusion razor blades, Heinz tomato sauce, etc. all the important expat things which life would be so much the poorer for having to go without. Everything else requires a trip to Trivandrum to one of the big supermarkets/department stores. There are three main supermarkets in town, Pothys (John Lewis/Waitrose), The Big Bazaar (ASDA/Debenhams/Lidl hybrid) and Spencer’s (confusingly more like Sainsburies than M&S) and we tend to use either Pothys or the Big Bazaar as they have a department store thing going on so you can just do the one stop shop thing, vital when doing “the big shop”. Yes I know, I can hear you from hear “…but what about the wonderful markets, haggling over the price of organically grown local produce, the local colour!!! Surely the supermarkets are a westernised cop out!!!”

Too bloody right they are, they are also air conditioned, relatively dust and grime free, and have all the aisle signs up in English so you don’t spend hours mowing up and down the same row looking for a bag of sugar in the insecticide section.

There is a time and place for local colour, and “The Big Shop” isn’t it. It’s a commando operation, list, plan, in, out, not a recreational activity, so with Ravi piloting the tuk-tuk off we went. Knowing from all great military actions an army marches on its stomach and the maxim of never shop hungry, the first stop was breakfast at a restaurant, masala dosas and chai all around then onward to Pothys. It was a two trolley shop, plastic containers by the dozen (not very eco but I prefer my food sans ants) , mops, cleaning equipment and potions (next to the aisle of Gillette Products), basic spices (found next to the Heinz Tomato Sauce), dhal, chapatti flour (by the fresh coffee bean grinding section). It took about 3 hours and by the end we were both tired but headed home with a feeling of accomplishment, a job well done.

Once home we unpacked which took almost as long as the shopping trip. At which point we realised that the shopping on full stomachs has its downside, we had full cupboards but nothing for dinner so we went out to eat.

The Washing Machine

Last winter we sent all our laundry to a little man who lived down the lane, for £5 he would pick it up, wash it, iron it and return it all within two days. Occasionally there would be burrs in my underpants from them being dried on the bushes but in the main it was a great service. However, this year it has gone up to £9, which prompted some swift maths, cost of laundry £9 x 20 = £180 verses cost of washing machine @ £150.

So we decided to buy a cheap(ish) washing machine. Ravi picked us up as usual, obviously we needed to stop for breakfast (cost £5) as the “never shop on an empty stomach” maxim had worked so well previously and then on to the Big Bazaar. We found a rather nice looking LG Automatic top-loader for £159 but with some careful haggling, sucking of teeth and judicious hurmphing managed to beat the salesman down to £149 with discount. Obviously we also needed an iron which was another £6, powder £4, conditioner £3, oh and a tap £2 to plumb the washer in as none of the taps in the house fitted the fill pipe adaptor.

The machine was delivered the same day and after much swearing was connected up and running (obviously ignoring the initial abortive load which resulted in the washer emptying onto the floor as the pipe wasn’t pushed far enough into the waste trap) in a couple of hours. So… total cost inc. Taxi to Trivandrum. £149 + £5 + £6 + £4 + £3 + £2 + £10 = £170 a grand saving of £10 (ignoring electricity and water and assuming we don’t need any more powder, obviously from next year we will be quids in!! as long as it is still here, working and survives the monsoon.)

A Bargain!!!!

Three tea bags and a roll of dental floss

At what point did three pyramid tea bags and a roll of dental floss become a swimming costume? Having had my briefs on occasion ride up into the crack of my bum and found it at least disconcerting I’m sure it can’t be comfortable and yet there appear to be more 18 to 25 year old women on the beach this year who feel a bit of dental floss is a costume. From their faces I know they are in discomfort as none of them look particularly happy and to relieve the situation they seem to need to wander along the edge of the beach wiggling their buttocks, presumably in an attempt to re-jig the bit of string. 

Maybe its because most of them are on holiday with their dads and grand fathers (funny none of their moms are around) and they would rather be off with their mates than sitting on a beach with an old bloke with a bit of cotton wedged up their admittedly tanned and pert bums.

The prettiest costume I have seen this year was a short floral swim skirt and bikini top, playful, sexy and on the right body stunning and the Russian bloke who was wearing it looked fantastic.

Ho hum, time for breakfast

Cheery pip


Kevin

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