So 2014 has been here for two weeks now and as its raining this morning, the second time in two months, I thought it would be a good idea to take a moment to look back on the year, a year of change and new beginnings for us. Today is Pongal, the Tamil celebration of Harvest a time to reflect and give thanks so its an appropriate time to think about our year. It hasn't always been an easy year but one where we decided to get out of the rat race and enjoy life, to see and do new things and be kinder to ourselves. In short to learn how to play and take pleasure from living without feeling guilty or asking if we deserved it.
The NHS reorganisation though traumatic gave us permission to examine what we wanted from life, how far we had come and if we wanted to continue doing what we had always done. I have no doubt if i'd wanted I could have found some other role in the emerging organisations but did I really want to spend the next eight years of my life chasing the latest wonderkid's vision of healthcare, a rehashing of initiatives and not so new ideas, watching organisations torn between local accountability and centrally controlled economies of scale?
Worse still jumping to address the latest Daily Mail statistical scandal, written by an innumerate journalist. e.g. "Did you know that just under 50% of care provided in the NHS is below average? Something MUST be done!!!" Statistically correct, and totally meaningless.
Nah... not for me or Sarah, so if you want to know in detail what happened (and have an hour or so to kill) read the back issues in the blog.
Also realising we had spent most of our adult lives being what we thought others expected us to do or be was an important turning point for us. Time to be us. So, I took early retirement, Sarah quit her job and here we are spending the winter in sunnier climes, something we intend to do for as long as we can, as long as our health holds and as long as we can afford it.
There have been some unexpected changes too, one of the reasons Sarah loves India is her love of Yoga, strangely, though she still practices regularly, its a much smaller part of her life now compared to her time back home in Devon. I haven't discussed it with her yet, in fact its only just occurred to me but I think when she was working it was her refuge from the day to day. Or perhaps "time for her", time which she now has in abundance. In the 12 weeks or so we have been here i've lost about a couple of stone in weight (aka blubber). I've not been ill or dieted, just eating better, more fish, fruit and veg, very very little red meat and stop when i'm full. I feel healthier and fitter than I have for a long time.
At its heart Kovalam is still a small village and in that not that different to Sticklepath, we are greeted most mornings by the coconut seller as we head of the beach with a cheery wave, locals smile at us as they go about their daily business of extracting money from the tourists, hawkers say good morning and pass the time of day (usually about the weather or moaning about the lack of tourists) rather than trying to sell us their goods. Don't get me wrong I'm not so gullible that I think we are now Kovalamites, rather like in Devon we will always be incomers, we occupy a place between potential source of income and locals.
We haven't become part of the ex-pat community, though there is one, they tend to sit in the same bars and restaurants at sunset watching the world go by. I think the fact we are based away from lighthouse beach in our own apartment has played a part in this and the fact most of our friends here are Indian. True, its fun from time to time to catch up on a trip one of them has had to Thailand or up to Goa but they aren't part of our world and neither are we part of theirs and have no desire to sit moaning about life in the UK or drinking our selves into oblivion which seems to be the course many take.
Back home, when we first considered retiring and moving to India for the winter it felt so decadent a thing to do that we needed to justify our good luck by immediately hurling ourselves into "good works" and talked about working for an NGO here full time. We have the skills and experience to help and had previously had established a relationship with a local social enterprise organisation, giving kids a second chance in education, improving health and social care and improving the choices for the local community in particular women. Back in April, on our previous trip, we even went as far as discussing it with the NGO's founder and he was keen to have us. Sarah was to work as a teachers's assistant and I was to work with their project director on social enterprise/project development. When we got back to the UK we began to have second thoughts, we were at risk of swapping one high pressured environment for another and one rat race for another.
When i was at King's Fund i remember a lecture on how certain people are attracted to intractable problems, according to the lecturer a common trait in NHS staff i.e. we are draw to occupations and jobs which are difficult and exact a personal cost, a perversion of "no gain without pain" in the end at a subconscious level its the pain endured rather than the gains made which define us and justify our existence. "Look at me, I must be a good person, look how much what i'm doing hurts me, how brave am I!" of course this mantra is chanted at a subconscious level and never spoken out loud as to fully demonstrate just how saintly we have become requires stoicism. There are lots of serious folk in the NHS carrying around two wooden posts and a bag of nails, long hours, always playing email, writing endless briefing notes, on call, etc. I know, I was one of them. The difficult part was putting them down and unless we were very careful we were about to take a set to India.
Independently we both discussed our plans and concerns with our therapists, both had the same advice, in short. Make no decisions during the first year you can't back out of, learn to play and enjoy yourselves. Heresy!!! But they were right. One of the hardest emails i have ever had to write was to the NGO telling them we were taking a year out to be well, enjoy life and consider our options. I needn't have worried, the email response was fully supportive and understanding of our decision, a sign we were dealing with the right people.
So here we are, just enjoying being, typically my day starts at about 6:30 with freshly ground coffee, a cigarette (I haven't given up yet but its on the cards, when I'm ready) and an hour or so reading the paper, unless the cricket is on from Australia in which case its a hour or two of watching England self destruct before breakfast.
Breakfast is usually at the local Tea Shop, dosas or perotta with a hard boiled egg, onion masalla and sambal. Delicious and freshly cooked to order.
Next the beach, for a few hours reading (my reading habits have changed dramatically, I now alternate classics with trash, before it was mostly Scandinavian thrillers now its far more eclectic) listening to whatever takes my fancy on the iPod or a play on the radio (God bless Radio 4 Extra on demand on the interweb), a swim or bounce in the sea when it gets a bit warm and watching non-swimming fully clothed Indians get hurled up the sand by the surf.
Lunch is usually dhal, a chapatti or two and some fruit served by Shiva on the beach (the restaurant behind the beach delivers for those of us who can't be arsed to get of our sunbeds).
Back to the apartment by 2-3pm for a shower and snooze.
Evenings are spent either going to a restaurant if we are hungry and haven't planned to eat in (i.e. couldn't be bothered with shopping for onions tomatoes or some other such stuff) or maybe watching a film on the TV or computer with some fruit and cashew nuts.
Bed time is anywhere between 8:30 and midnight (film and temperature dependant).
Obviously we don't do this every day, just most days, time to participate in thinking or not as the day goes. Pure indulgence, enjoying playing and having fun.
This year the harvest was a good one, a stormy start but it produced riches like no other, I'm looking forward to 2014 but for now just being is more than enough.
Happy Pongal
K&S
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